[photopress:NUP_109595_0827.jpg,thumb,pp_image]Jerry Seinfeld appears on Thursday’s typically sharp season premiere of “30 Rock.” He signed on partly as a favor to his pal Tina Fey and partly to promote his “Bee Movie,” out next month. NBC offered a transcript of a canned, inhouse interview with the man who once powered the network to ratings heights.

Okay, we’ll bite. Here’s his answer to a question about plugging his movie:
JERRY SEINFELD: It really had nothing to do with “Bee
Movie.” And they put it in the script. I really didn’t
ask them to. But everybody thought it was funny, so we
are doing it… It was just supposed to be on NBC.
And NBC is promoting the movie. And I’m doing some
interstitial comedy vignettes for them that I call TV
juniors, little one-minute long comedy pieces. But this
was, like, a separate thing. But it turned out that
they came up with this very funny idea of Jack Doneghy
coming up with SeinfeldVision, and they would put
me digitally in all these NBC shows. It was funny.

What, they thought we’d put that in the real newspaper?

[photopress:NUP_105443_0198.jpg,thumb,pp_image]Amid the crush of newcomers, the ratings standout was NBC’s “Bionic Woman,” which had the best premiere ratings the network’s seen in eight years, since “The West Wing.” The “Bionic” remake beat ABC’s “Private Practice,” which was a strong No. 2, suggesting there’s a big enough Wednesday night audience for both shows to do well.

PBS trumpeted a huge win for Ken Burns’ “The War,” claiming an “estimated gross audience” of 18.7 million viewers for two airings of the two-hour debut. In fact, that’s if you count anyone in certain major markets who caught six minutes’ worth. The way the other networks keep score is by measuring the average number of viewers at any given moment. That comes out to 7.3 million viewers. Very good for PBS, but not record-shattering.

This debate about the ratings yardstick is not new. The same discrepancy arose a few weeks ago when Univision claimed its telecast of a Democratic candidate forum drew 4.6 million viewers, making it the most-watched presidential debate so far. In fact, that was by the anyone-who-caught-six-minutes yardstick. The average total-viewer figure was 2.1 million.

AMC today confirmed its critical hit “Mad Men,” about philandering, hard-drinking and ever-smoking advertising executives in 1960, pre-feminism, will return for a second season. The first 13 episodes were not just the highpoint of summer TV viewing, but a highlight of television in general.

The first season finale is Oct. 18.

[photopress:0000034448_20061020202712_1.jpg,thumb,pp_image]NBC signed Lauren Graham (”The Gilmore Girls”) to a one-year development deal. The network called it “a huge get.” Now let’s see what they do with it.

Sunday’s weak Emmy Awards show on Fox scored the second smallest audience on record, averaging 13.1 million viewers, according to preliminary nationals from Nielsen. That’s down from the 16.2 million NBC drew for its late August show last year, way down from the 18.7 million who tuned in on CBS two years ago.

Credit that shy, press-averse David Chase with the most political statement of the night at the just concluded 2007 Emmy telecast.

Picking up the award for “The Sopranos” as best drama series, Chase riffed on the idea of gangsters being people, too. In fact, maybe they’re people we see on the news everyday…

“In essence, this is a story about a gangster. And gangsters are out there taking their kids to college, and taking their kids to school, and putting food on their table. And, hell, let’s face it, if the world and this nation was run by gangsters —(beat) maybe it is.”

It was a probing line, mostly lost amid the glitter and giggles of TV’s self-congratulatory night.

Katie Couric’s in Iraq this week performing completely satisfactorily. George Bush is in Iraq this week performing–fill in your descriptor here. These are dog-and-camel shows that will be followed this weekend by a touching series of interviews with American troops injured and nearly killed there.

James Gandolfini chose to use his immediate post-”Sopranos” clout to make a documentary, “Alive Day Memories,” airing on HBO Sunday at 8:30 p.m. Footage of battle scenes is interspersed with memories of what these soldiers were doing before their injuries. Difficult but necessary viewing.

See a clip here.

NBC adds a fourth hour of the goldmine known as “Today” starting Sept. 10.

While 99% of NBC affiliates are carrying it, what’s interesting in Denver is where KUSA Channel 9 is putting it. Hour four won’t run it seamlessly after hour three, at 10 a.m. Instead, Channel 9 will continue to broadcast “Colorado & Company” –that infomercial masquerading as a magazine show– at 10 a.m., then pick up “Today’s” fourth hour at 11 a.m., bumping two “Judge Judys.”

“C&C” obviously makes too much money from its “sponsored segments,” ie. infomercials, for Channel 9 to dump it.

True confession: I’ve been spending time with “Flight of the Conchords,” not on TV but on YouTube. A song from the 4th episode, “If You’re Into It,” cracks me up, as does “Business Time,” and the faux-French “Foux Da Fa Fa.” Their Sunday night series on HBO is too steep a time investment. But a few of their parody songs here and there and I’m smiling. What do you think of the Kiwis?

It must be seen to be believed. The Smoking Gun has posted all 22 pages of the contract the parents of participants signed to let their offspring be on the reality show.

While CBS enjoys the publicity (they’re in the “just get the name right” school of thought), some critics are questioning whether the project will get on the air amid the accusations of child abuse, endangerment and neglect. More in Sunday’s paper…